Reviewed by Margaret Collins

"There is an African saying, 'It takes a village to raise a child.' Most [teenage] girls no longer have a village.'" Talk about an essential truth of modern life. Mary Pipher, Ph.D., has encapsulated several of these "essential truths" in her book Reviving Ophelia, coupling these jewels with short case studies of girls in therapy who come from vastly different backgrounds. Pipher's intelligent, sympathetic and insightful commentary at the end of each of the book's sections also adds flavor and substance to Ophelia. She named the book for Hamlet's famous love who killed herself because the world was too overwhelming for her. Pipher set out to show how modern girls are dealing with their own world. I am a teenage girl, and this book struck home with me, with its sometimes painful and sometimes touching stories of other girls' struggles through life.

The case studies that had the most impact on me were the ones about girls who seemed healthy, well-adjusted, well-loved, and happy, but who came to therapy with serious problems in their behavior at home and/or school—like Penelope, who, at 16, has all the material comforts of life in addition to a healthy family situation. Pipher describes her as "tall, tanned and regal in her expensive outfits and stylish shoes." And yet she is brought into therapy because she has tried to kill herself. This teenage depression is a focal point for Pipher throughout the book; she emphasizes the fact that often girls can be outwardly content and thriving, and inwardly writhing under the pressures ("the storm," as Pipher terms it) put on them by society: lookism, sexism, peer pressure, to do drugs, to be sexually active... to name a few. As a teenage girl, I was relieved to see an author finally recognize the fact that girls usually aren't trying to be obstinate, or fall in with the "wrong crowd," or anything like that. They're reacting to the storm in the only way they can see.

Reviving Ophelia could almost be called a handbook for dealing with a teenage daughter. Pipher explains away a good deal of the behavior that adults often attribute to teenage angst and simple frustration. She makes it clear that parents need to understand the pressures being placed on their daughters in order to understand their daughters' behavior. Why more psychologists haven't thought of this is beyond me. The world has changed so much over the past thirty—even ten—years that it is nearly impossible for parents to fully understand what their daughters must face every day. Pipher brings to light, in no-nonsense but careful terms, the strains of daily life for adolescent girls in the 1990s. She discusses issues like bulimia/anorexia nervosa ("In my experience, it is the good girls, the dutiful daughters and the high achievers who are at the greatest risk for anorexia"), divorce, drugs and alcohol, rape, the media, and the family. All of the case studies used well illustrate each issue, the four or five in each section presenting a well-rounded picture. These glimpses into the lives of individual girls provide a straight-forward and fascinating view of the world today. I live in that world, facing the same situations and pressures that most of the girls discussed do. And even I learned much from this book—if not about the behaviors themselves, then about the causes.

Pipher's book does something for both psychology and modern families. For psychology, it finally explores in-depth the world of adolescent girls in a way that even renowned psychologist Carol Gilligan hasn't achieved. For modern familes, Reviving Ophelia is personal, heart-felt, and most importantly, in layman's terms.

For families of this modern era, Reviving Ophelia gives them a gentle shove in the right direction. Listen to one another; talk to one another; understand that times change, and as they do, so does the very definition of childhood innocence. Pipher sees this, and her writing strives to reveal just how adolescence has changed. Between the covers of this book lie much wisdom, and much hope. After reading it, one cannot help but think that Ophelia can be saved after all.

Margaret Collins is a high school senior who plans to attend Cornell University's College of Arts and Sciences in the fall of '98. She hopes to go into environmental politics while keeping up her Spanish studies and fiction writing. With any luck, Collins says, her recently-finished first book will be published within the year. Collins is Jewish, and comes from a mixed ethnic background; she considers herself lucky to have a stable, close-knit family, and has thus far stood up pretty well against the storm.

Reviewed by Margaret Dalton

In Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, author and therapist Mary Pipher, Ph.D., explores the "selves" of adolescent girls by using their voices to share the everyday dangers of being young and female in America today. The girls' compelling stories, frightening in their similarities, chronicle the journey of today's adolescent girls through a culture with pitfalls many of us cannot even begin to comprehend. Contrary to most contemporary voices, as heard through the media, these young women and Pipher ring true—particularly as they reflect a culture where young female adolescents must have incredible internal resources to survive with their selves intact.

Unlike many political leaders, who are far too ready to blame today's parents for the ills of their teenagers, Pipher lays the blame on our "girl-poisoning" culture, where even involved, caring parents have limited power. Specifically, Pipher blames the "media-drenched world flooded with junk values," values particularly denigrating to women, as the real culprit.

That dysfunctional culture rewards the "god of thinness" while pushing drugs, alcohol and sex—a lethal cocktail with the capacity to kill even the most resilient spirit. Pipher delves into these troubling topics by segmenting developmental issues (physical selves, emotional selves, thinking selves, academic selves, social selves, spiritual selves), and devoting complete chapters to families (the root system), mothers, fathers and divorce. As with later chapters, she uses the girls' stories to illustrate the ends of the spectrum, tying the strands together with her vision of the problem.

While Pipher is careful not to blame parents (or at least those who are "trying"), she nevertheless stresses the key role parents play, particularly as protectors. Pipher's experience and observations lead her to favor parents who are high in acceptance but also high in control; the message is, "We love you, but you must do as we say." Easier said than done for many parents, yet most parents reading this book will probably be convinced to try that combination if they are not already doing so.

A major recurrent theme in Reviving Ophelia is the concept of "lookism." Pipher believes that the media-influenced version of a perfect female body (anorexic) affects all adolescent girls in varying degrees. Again and again, she shows the progression of girls from confident, excited preteens to troubled, insecure adolescents, obsessed with being thin, beautiful and sexually appealing.

Another theme, and perhaps the most distressing, is Pipher's retelling of the sexual harassment girls face at school from adolescent boys. Pipher contends that our culture not only condones but encourages this, and that the level of teasing is far different, and more serious, than most mature women today experienced as adolescents. Graphic, mean-spirited and aggressive harassment, says Pipher, leaves many girls feeling they live, and must try to learn, in a hostile environment—and a worsening one at that. Adding to this mix is exposure via music, television, movies and pornography, to models of sexuality that are brutal and callous. It is no wonder, she believes, that many adolescent girls feel themselves being destroyed by the pressure.

In almost every chapter, Pipher uses case studies to demonstrate why she arrives at her conclusions. That could have been very dry reading, but it is not. Instead, this book is as gripping as any good novel. Two of Pipher's chapters, "Drugs and Alcohol" and "Sex and Violence," are almost too painful to read. But perhaps that is one of the most important points this book makes: The level of unpleasantness many girls today experience is too painful to be lived.

Pipher is clearly a champion of adolescent girls. She recognizes their challenges (some might call them shortcomings, but Pipher wouldn't), understands their angst, sympathizes with their pain—and, in all, becomes the champion they need to "survive" adolescence and move into their next stage of life. One comforting thought from Pipher is that once girls make it (assuming they do) through adolescence and junior high into late high school, they have usually found their "selves" once again.

Pipher also gives the reader an overview of the skills she believes adolescent girls need: centering (a quiet place to sit alone for ten to fifteen minutes each day to focus on their thoughts and feelings); the ability to separate thinking from feeling; making conscious choices (rather than falling into patterns); making and holding boundaries (not just sexual but including others); defining relationships (in their best interests); managing pain; time travel (remembering past, better times); and altruism (volunteer work, etc.).

This author and therapist has great confidence in adolescent girls, and clearly admires them for dealing with the strain our culture imposes. But she also is ready to fight back against a girl-destroying culture, and wants girls and their parents to have the tools to do that.

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls is an exceptional book, and one that should appeal to many readers. The Library Journal recommends it to "all parents with daughters." More importantly, it should be read by all parents of adolescents, but absolutely by anyone—educators, therapists, counselors—who deal with adolescent girls. Reviving Ophelia breaks new ground, and challenges all of us who consider ourselves advocates of children to do a better job of protecting them.

Margaret Dalton is an attorney, who is currently Adjunct Professor, Child Advocacy Clinic (Policy) and Project Director, Information Clearinghouse on Children, both at University of San Diego School of Law. Before joining USD's staff, Dalton was a Legal Research and Policy Consultant; she drafted California's first comprehensive report on domestic violence. She is the mother of a son (past adolescence) and a daughter (still to reach that critical point).