It's an old-fashioned image full of promise: an infant in a hospital-issue stocking cap, nestled in Mom's arm. There by the side of the hospital bed stands Dad. Except that with one out of three children in the U.S. now born to unmarried mothers, it might be a proud grandmother, grandfather, aunt or uncle instead.

We are building our families to new specifications these days, and some of the biggest changes have been in the role that fathers play in the lives of their children. But the public image of fathers and families has not kept up, and the disconnect has created some damaging preconceptions.

Single fathers don't speak with a single voice, or share a single set of problems. Some are divorced, some have never married. Some are rich, or middle-income. Others struggle to earn a living for one, let alone two, three or more. But ongoing research confirms that most of these fathers want, hope and fully intend to be central figures in the lives of their children.

Single Dads: A Bad Rap?
Here are two common and damaging myths about one growing group of fathers—the single, never-married dads: they are not very involved with the mothers of their children, and they don't want to play a role in raising their children.

Recent research by the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study, based on hospital interviews with single mothers within 48 hours of giving birth and interviews with their babies' fathers either in the hospital or elsewhere, paints a different picture: 82 percent of these new parents are romantically involved and 44 percent are living together. Among the couples who are not romantically involved, about half the mothers say they are friends with the father. And most of these new parents value marriage, with two-thirds of mothers and three-quarters of fathers agreeing with the statement, "it is better for children if their parents are married."

Virtually all the fathers interviewed—99.8 percent—said they wanted to be involved in raising their children in the coming years. And 93 percent of the mothers also said they wanted the fathers involved. About three-quarters of mothers reported that the father came to visit the baby in the hospital.

How Do We Keep Families Strong?
Of course, that hospital visit is only a first step. A September 2000 discussion paper from the Urban Institute's project, Assessing the New Federalism, looked at the issue of non-payment of child support by low-income non-resident fathers. (Unlike the Fragile Families research, this group includes all non-resident fathers, including those who are divorced or separated.) The paper, A Look at Poor Dads Who Don't Pay Child Support, found that of the estimated 2.6 million non-resident fathers with incomes below the poverty line, only 3 percent pay child support. Only 31 percent report that they are working. Most face one or several barriers to employment, such as incarceration, a criminal record, lack of a high school education, little work experience or poor health.

It's not surprising that many of these fathers have trouble when it comes to making a long-term commitment to the economic well being of their children. They are also less likely than poor single mothers to participate in the kinds of programs that could help them. At least one reason for that may be the relative lack of programs designed to help this group. Most employment-related programs for poor adults give priority to welfare recipients—and this usually means custodial mothers, rather than non-custodial fathers.

The Fragile Families research suggests that fatherhood programs directed at low-income unmarried fathers should be timed to reach these men at the moment when they are most motivated to become successful fathers: right at the hospital. They should acknowledge these men as members of a new family, not just as individuals with a new financial responsibility.

The Urban Institute discussion paper argues that since policy-makers expect non-resident fathers to contribute to their children's support, states should consider making work support programs that are now available to poor single mothers available to poor non-resident fathers as well.

Talk About it Online
What would the perfect fatherhood program look like? Are there programs already in place that are helping? Are there any programs in your community that are especially responsive to the needs of low-income single fathers and their families? Low-income fathers face special challenges, but living away from one's children isn't easy for any dad, as Bill Klatte, author of Live Away Dads: Staying a Part of Your Children's Lives When They Aren't a Part of Your Homes, makes clear in his column, "A Letter to Live-Away Dads" about staying close to his own children after divorce.

For more background, visit the Fathers topic page, in Connect for Kids Topics A-Z.