logo
Published on Connect for Kids / Child Advocacy 360 / Youth Policy Action Center (http://www.connectforkids.org)

Growing Up Together

by: Julee Newberger

This article first appeared in June 2001.

When 5-year-old Brandon came to live with foster mom Maritza LaSalle in 1998, she learned that he had two brothers and a sister living in different foster homes. An experienced foster parent, LaSalle knew that being separated from siblings can be just as traumatic, if not more so, than being separated from parents. LaSalle wanted Brandon and his siblings to have the chance to grow up together.

LaSalle was working as a foster parent through the Florida state department of social services. She had heard about Neighbor to Family, a local foster care agency that specialized in keeping siblings together. She called Neighbor to Family, and within three weeks, she had all of Brandon's siblings living with her.

Today Brandon, 7, Clint, 8, Cheyeene, 4, and Dylan, 2, await adoption as a family unit, which means they'll leave LaSalle's home together or not at all. It hasn't been easy rearing all the kids at once, but LaSalle thinks it will be worth it in the long run. "A family needs to be together to understand and love each other," LaSalle says.

The Hardest Part of Foster Care
 An estimated 80-85 percent of the 500,000 children in the foster care system are separated from a brother or sister. In many of these cases, the bonds between these children are very strong. While most states have policies and regulations that encourage the maintenance of sibling bonds, current systems make it difficult to keep siblings together.

Studies have shown that siblings are most likely to be separated when they come into care as older children, have more than one or two brothers and sisters, have developmental disabilities or have come into care at different times. Those children who are separated from siblings tend to move from home to home more frequently. Overall, those children who are most vulnerable and need the support of siblings the most may be the least likely to be placed with them.

"You're separating children whose emotional ties are very strong as a result of a dysfunctional family," says Cheryl Lawrence, vice president of programs for the Jane Addams Hull House Association in Chicago. "A lot of times they have become one another's caregivers, so it's even more traumatic for them to be separated."

Agencies say that it's hard to find families who will accept sibling groups. Most kids in the system already come from troubled backgrounds, and their combined problems can be tough on foster parents. Also, siblings often come into out-of-home care at different times, which adds to the logistical problems of keeping kids together.

In 1994, the Jane Addams Hull House Association responded to this issue by creating Neighbor to Neighbor, an Illinois state-funded program that places sibling groups together with foster parents in their communities. The program professionalizes the role of foster parents by making them paid employees. They become part of a team with caseworkers and therapists who work together to make decisions about children.

"The foster parents in most other systems are not considered to be part of the team, they're considered volunteers who take care of the child," Lawrence says. "Their input is not sought when decisions are being made for the children."

Neighbor to Neighbor is the model for Neighbor to Family, the program that employs Maritza LaSalle. After the Neighbor to Neighbor's success in placing siblings together in Chicago, Florida legislators brought the program to Daytona Beach in 1998. It soon expanded to Fort Lauderdale and Gainesville.

The Neighbor to Family program is currently contracted by the state to serve 30 children. The program has been successful in placing siblings together and keeping them together. So far, only three sets of siblings placed by the program have moved from one family to another.

LaSalle receives $10,000 a year from Neighbor to Family in addition to the "board rate," which is the amount of money the state pays to cover the cost of caring for the children. The board rate is just enough to feed and clothe the kids; the additional $10,000 from Neighbor to Family is a professional salary. It's not enough to be in it for the money, but together with assistance from the program, it's enough to help LaSalle meet the needs of Brandon and his siblings.

"If you have the support from the agency and the department, it's going to work out fine," LaSalle says. "That's the most important thing with this agency—I'm able to take care of these kids like they are my own."

Sibling Rivalry
Some foster parents worry that siblings won't get along, and if placed in the same home, both kids and foster parents will suffer. Experts say that it's a challenge, but not an insurmountable one. The Neighbor to Family program provides a team structure that helps foster parents handle any situation that arises.

 For LaSalle, taking in all of Brandon's siblings at once wasn't easy. The toughest part was helping Brandon learn to live with his older brother, Clint. At first, Brandon had been afraid to live with Clint, who had picked on him and beaten him up throughout childhood. Now that they were together again, fighting often broke out.

"There was war in that house," LaSalle says. "Black eyes and busted lips."

LaSalle called the Neighbor to Family therapist at all hours of the day and night for help. She asked her caseworker about the children's backgrounds to better understand what motivated their actions. "From day one, I was able to ask questions about the kids and get answers," LaSalle says.

That kind of support was missing when LaSalle had worked as a foster parent before. "Pretty much, I was on my own." LaSalle says. "Caseworkers would never show up, phone calls went unanswered. I was tired of that."

Brandon was the toughest child to manage, acting out both at home and in class. LaSalle needed help making teachers and administrators pay attention to his needs. "At school, foster children don't get the same treatment as other children," LaSalle says. She told her caseworker and therapist about her problems, and both came to a meeting at school. They talked about Brandon's issues as a team. Now, the family therapist attends all Brandon's meetings to determine his individual education plan. "I never had that kind of help before," LaSalle says.

Serving More Families
The Neighbor to Neighbor program received a federal grant in 2000 to provide technical assistance to states interested in replicating the program. Representatives from 10 states attended a training program in Chicago, as the first of five training phases. The goal is to replicate the program in five states.

"The barrier is expense," says Stephanie Beiser, project director for the National Neighbor to Neighbor Training Program. "But in the long run I think you end up saving states money when you look at the cost of children bouncing from home to home, requiring higher levels of care, psychiatric services, and staying in care longer."

Studies show that children who are placed with their siblings show fewer emotional and behavioral problems than children who have been separated from their siblings. They are also more likely to remain in their first foster home and less likely to experience multiple placements.

Today, Brandon and Clint still have a tough relationship, but it has improved. "There's still that rivalry," LaSalle says. "Clint wants everything his way—it's his protection against the world. But Brandon has mellowed so much. He's learned to avoid Clint when he gets in those moods. There's not that anger anymore. It's changed a lot."


Email [1] Connect for Kids.



Source URL:
http://www.connectforkids.org/node/280