• The illusion of anonymity. Most kids say or do things on a computer that they wouldn't have the nerve to do in person.
• The number of kids using the Internet makes it the preferred way to communicate. The Pew Internet & American Life Project reports that approximately 17 million kids aged 12 to 17 use the Internet. Teens have embraced IM—74 percent of teens IM, compared to only 44 percent of adults.
• It's easy to disguise your identity and pose as someone else. For example, anyone can get a Web based e-mail account with an ISP, make up a screen name and post comments with little consequence.

Some states have begun to take action. In Washington, state Sen. Jeanne Kohl-Welles sponsored a bill to end cyber bullying, described as: "Harrassment, intimidation or bullying by any intentional electronic... act, when that act a) physically harms a student or damages a student's property; or b) has the effect of substantially interfering with a student's education, or c) Is so severe, persistent or pervasive that it creates in intimidating or threatening educational environment, or d) has the effect of substantially disrupting the orderly operation of the school." The bill is pending.

Sharon Nelson, an attorney specializing in technology-related issues, says that Virginia is one state that has criminalized cyber bullying once it reaches a certain threshold. This is the law that tripped up "Chad." A person is guilty of "harassment by computer" if, intending to intimidate or harass, he or she uses a computer or network to "communicate obscene, vulgar, profane, lewd...or indecent language, or make a suggestion/proposal of an obscene nature, or threaten any illegal or immoral act." Harassment by computer is punishable by up to a year in jail or substantial fine.

Voted Off the 6th Grade Island?

Deborah Lane, Principal of Oak View Elementary School in Fairfax County, Virginia, is well aware of how an online bully can wreck the educational environment for an entire school. One of Oak View's students decided to do a survey on the top five "hated kids" in the 6th grade. In a twist on American Idol, he set up a Web site where kids could vote for their least favorites.

The parents of one "loser" appeared at school, telling Lane their daughter refused to attend school. (She did return later.) The cyber bully's parents had no idea he was running a reverse popularity contest, and parents of the other victims didn't want to involve the police. Lane decided to sponsor an in-school program on the damage online harassment can cause, as well as what parents could do to prevent this behavior.

Technology to the Rescue

One expert Lane invited to Oak View was Brian Zwit, head of Integrity Assurance for America Online. Zwit admits that technology can tempt kids to overstep bounds. For example, CNN and MSNBC's sites allow "instant polling". A user can set up a poll on whatever topic he chooses—including the biggest nerd in the school band—and send results to the whole school, via listserv.

However, technology can also rein in some obnoxious online behavior. All of the major Internet Service Providers offer some form of parental controls.

AOL has developed "AOL Guardian," which reports who their kids exchange messages with and what Web sites they visit, monitored chat rooms for kids 13 and under, and an IM "safe list," restricting people with whom a child can talk.

Yahoo's "parental controls" package allows parents to set different limits for each child using the Internet. There are four levels available: one for kids 12 and under, one for teens 13-15, one for "mature teens" 16-17, and a "full access" option with no restrictions. Yahoo offers a weekly "report card" of a child's online activities during the prior week.

Microsoft's "content advisor" prevents kids from viewing inappropriate content and lets parents set up an "approved" group of Web addresses. There's a "restricted zone" of forbidden sites. "Client filtering" prevents kids from playing specific Internet games and restricts Web surfing time.

Of course, technology can only do so much. "We tell parents you wouldn't send your child out into the neighborhood without restrictions on where he could/couldn't go. It's the same thing with the Internet—you really need rules and guidance," says Zwit. Kids who know parents are shadowing their online adventures tend to be more cautious.

Action Steps for Parents and Schools:

Although pigs probably WILL fly before parents are more comfortable with technology than their kids, there definitely are things parents can do: