Yesterday, we hosted a lively on-line discussion about whether computer and video games can be good for kids, both as a form of mental exercise, and as a way to encourage physical fitness and healthy lifestyles. (link)

Our experts, both avid gamers themselves, suggested that parents worry way too much about "screen time," and about exposure to violent, crude, or sexualized content in games. And that parents don't give games enough credit for pushing kids to develop higher-order thinking skills.

They also offered this advice: if parents really want to understand why these games are so compelling to their kids, and perhaps to take a more relaxed view of the time and money spent gaming, they should pull up a chair, plug in a joystick, and play the games with their kids.

So, when I got home from work yesterday, and found my 13-year-old deep in his current favorite RPG (that's role-playing game, for the willfully ignorant), I suggested that we spend a little time wandering the mythical, Medieval landscape together seeking passage to the next level. He looked at me, startled, decided I absolutely must be joking, and just about fell out of his chair laughing.

At that, I decided he was right -- if I wasn't joking, I should be. Parenting does involve doing many things just because your kids like to do them, or you think your kids should like to do them. But it also involves understanding that kids need their own turf, be it skateboarding, music, or gaming. Our role with regard to that turf is to be the police force, setting rules about helmet use, volume, acceptable games, etc.

And I also decided that I'm not ready to embrace our experts' view that the multi-layered structure of many games is more important than their narrative content -- a way, it seemed to me, of simply sidestepping around the reality that a game like Grand Theft Auto is crude, amoral, and misogynistic.