"There are little worlds out there that are successfully fighting stereotypes. All it takes, really, is a strong commitment to diversity."
—Dr. Rebecca Bigler, associate professor of Psychology, University of Texas at Austin

How do kids develop prejudice? How can adults teach kids understanding and tolerance at an early age? At Connect for Kids, we think these are important questions, and according to your feedback, so do you!

Two articles that address these issues have generated many comments and questions from our readers. We'd like to share them and offer you the opportunity to respond and become a part of our online community.

In a May 2002 column, Cecilia Garcia shared her experiences with prejudice as a child, along with research that shows it's important for adults to talk with kids about race. The column, Getting Past the Prejudices, inspired readers to ask questions and raise concerns that we alone can't address. That's why we're looking to you to help continue the dialog.

In Standing Up and Speaking Out, Holly St. Lifer profiled high school student Farheen Haider, a victim of prejudice and bullying. Haider's crusade to teach fellow students to respect one another's differences inspirited many readers. But the article prompted one individual to ask where adults have a responsibility to help kids stand up to intimidation.

Read our mail, and let us know how you feel. We'll publish select responses next month. Keep on the lookout for more opportunities to join our community!

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I am the Child Development and Disabilities Consultant for Head Start of Lane County in Springfield, Oregon. One of the diversity issues that we continue to struggle with is that of celebrating holidays. Often our parents want to have big birthday, Christmas, Easter...i.e., Hallmark kinds of celebrations in the classrooms. Our programs policies clash with such activities on several issues:

• Nutrition
• developmentally appropriate practice
• exclusion of children whose families don't celebrate any holidays
• safety

I recently purchased a text for all of our sites called Celebrate! An Anti-Bias Guide to Enjoying Holidays, by Julie Bisson, published by Redleaf Press, 1997. It has helped our teachers in some ways to find ways to celebrate without focusing on "Hallmark Holidays" and in a way that includes all children and families. I still have had some very angry parents who feel that they should be able to celebrate what they want and in the way that they want...mostly around Christmas.

I would appreciate any feedback you may have around the holiday issue and how we can get our parents to think about diversity in another way besides parties! Our population is mostly caucasion with the largest minority being Latino/Hispanic and then African/American with a very few Asian and Native American. A glance at our community looks very "white skinned" and helping our staff, parents and children to understand diversity in such an environment is difficult. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you, in advance, for your feedback.

Can you help? E-mail info@connectforkids.org

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(In response to recommendations in Getting Past the Prejudices)

I understand this part—("Share your own views openly with your children and welcome their questions and observations about racial and ethnic differences. As they get older, you should be clear about the historic context of racism in this country—point out the fact there have only been white male presidents in this country.")

The article suggests to start talking to your children early about race and ethnicity—What is early?

Also, how do you begin this discussion?

Javier C. Leal, 26 years old anti-racist male, husband and father of two children: Joseph 4 and Julia 3

Can you help? E-mailinfo@connectforkids.org

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There is a quote that says, "begin a dialogue on race and ethnicity very early with your children." Our children are Korean adoptees and we are white. What are some good things to say? K.

Kathryn Gardow
Kathryn Gardow & Assoc., Inc.

Can you help? E-mail info@connectforkids.org

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(In response to Standing Up and Speaking Out.)

My name is Chuck Saufler. I am the former coordinator of Maine Project Against Bullying and a nationally certified trainer in the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program which is a "scientifically proven model program" to reduce bullying on schools … I have been an avid reader of Connect for kids from the start ... I am a little concerned that this week's article, Standing Up & Speaking Out by Holly St. Lifer, promotes peer mediation as a recommended response to bullying.

The following is a quote from the Blueprints for Violence Prevention handbook on bullying which clearly explains my concern:

"Emphasizing the necessity of adult participation in combating bullying is not meant to deny that student participation is also crucial. However, bully/victim problems may be both complex and difficult to remedy, and accordingly, they require adult participation, leadership and guidance. To leave it to students to handle bullying problems alone, for example through peer mediation or conflict resolution techniques, is definitely not advisable…

Even worse, such programs may actually lead to undesirable results. Portraying bully/victim problems as conflicts, for example, is Inappropriate… In actuality, bullying represents an abuse of another person's rights, not a conflict. If mediation were used to solve a bully/victim problem, victims may be further humiliated and victimized… "

Bullying is a pervasive problem in our schools. The answer to the problem is a comprehensive, coordinated, collaborative and sustained effort on the part of the adults in the school and community to effect fundamental change in the social culture and climate of school. This effort needs to start early (preferably preschool) and persist through graduation. I often say in my trainings of teachers that, " If kids could have solved this problem they would have by now." They need adult help.

I fear that the article will mislead people to think otherwise.

Can you help? E-mail info@connectforkids.org