Reviewed by Susan Phillips

Lehman, herself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, interviewed a dozen teens and adults for this book. Though the group is small, it covers a wide range of experience, from those who endured years of abuse within their families, to those who were victimized by strangers, by peers or by trusted adults. Each member of this diverse group also finds their own strategies for rebuilding their lives and moving forward. It's a measure of their re-found strength that the participants agreed to include their photographs, and use their own first names, in the book—a courageous decision that strengthens the connection between them and the reader.

In her introduction, Lehman points out that childhood sexual abuse is a notoriously underreported crime—commonly accepted estimates are that about one of every three girls and one in six boys are sexually abused in some way before they turn 18. Despite being so common, it's a crime that remains surrounded by silence, leaving many victims feeling isolated and alone. Friends and family, when they become aware of abuse, often feel at a loss for what to say and how best to support those affected.

Lehman writes that everyone can benefit from a better understanding of how childhood abuse affects victims, and how people can recover and move forward after such a serious blow to their sense of self. She points out common themes in the individual stories of recovery: these victims spoke up and got help; played an active role in determining what kind of help they needed; found ways to connect with others and receive emotional support; and gave themselves plenty of time.

The rest of the book consists of nine chapters. In eight of them, one person talks about the nature of the abuse they endured and outlines their individual paths to recovery. For example Jonathan, the sixth child in a Catholic family of twelve siblings, recounts abuse at the hands of a trusted local priest. Facing the prospect of going away for a holiday weekend with "Father Jim," Jonathan remembers, "I thought if I killed myself and it looked like an accident, nobody would find out. Then my family wouldn't burn in hell. So I planned to hold a steak knife to my heart and run into the wall." But Father Jim never came back, and some years later Jonathan found out that his older brother, also abused by "Father Jim", had warned his parents not to let Jonathan go away with the priest.

Jonathan, 10 years old at the time, didn't tell anyone for years. He was troubled by migraines, nightmares, and bed wetting, and in middle school began drinking and using drugs. He was in 8th grade before he found a way—through a short story he wrote for school—to open up the subject for discussion within his family. That was the first step in a lengthy process of recovery that also included filing charges against the priest and becoming active in a group of survivors of abuse by priests.

Other chapters tell the stories of Jenner, a date-rape victim for whom songwriting became a piece of her recovery; Kelly, who was abducted by an armed man and raped and later made a documentary movie about her experience; Sheena, a Native American girl living on a reservation, assaulted by a male cousin, who was helped towards healing by a supportive culture; Tammy, who was molested over a period of years by her stepfather and for whom therapy proved the critical piece in recovering her balance; Arturo, a Mexican-American abused by two neighborhood men at age 10 who later struggles with addiction; Tino, molested by his grandmother as a very young boy, who finds peace in the outdoors; and Akaya, an African-American abused by her alcoholic father from the age of 2 until young adulthood, and who arrives at a kind of forgiveness by the end of her father's life.

A final chapter combines the voices of three college students active in a volunteer organization that works to raise awareness of childhood sexual abuse.

This structure has the advantage of allowing each individual's voice to come through, but makes it a bit harder for readers to pull a common thread from these disparate experiences.

For instance, I would have liked to learn more about the role of creative expression in helping some of those profiled reclaim their sense of self. By creating music, movies, poetry, stories, and in one case fantastic masks, several of Lehman's subjects seem to find both safety and strength. Another theme of these tales that could be more thoroughly explored is the role of spirituality and religion—which become critical anchor points for some, while others seem more inclined to put their ultimate faith in themselves.

Overall, this is a strong book in which other survivors of abuse will see themselves reflected, and in which the rest of us can find guidance as we seek to understand and support friends and family who are dealing with this kind of trauma. It's well supported by a website [1] which includes a blog by Lehman, links to other resources, recommended books, etc.

Chat with Carolyn Lehman on April 5th @ 1:00 ET [2]