When Dennis Cranford began volunteering at Camp El Tesoro de la Vida in Texas, he was nervous about being able to relate to the kids who attended. Cranford had never experienced a death in his family, and the camp was designed specifically for kids 6-16 who had lost a loved one. But Cranford enjoyed the experience, and on the last day, Cranford found a group of campers in his cabin huddled around his camp shirt, where they had each written their name and phone number.

"They said the gift was meant for a time when someone died in my family—so I could call them and they could help me as much as the camp had helped them," Cranford says.

Eleven years later, Cranford is volunteer director of Camp El Tesoro de la Vida (translated "the treasure of life"), a one-week grief camp sponsored by Camp Fire USA and held at Camp El Tesoro in Hood County, Texas. Cranford is one of 60 adults in the program's volunteer force. Last year, the camp hosted nearly 100 children who had lost a parent, sibling or friend. Some of the staff members are counselors for El Tesoro's regular summer sessions, and others are professionals who love kids and are sensitive to how losing a loved one affects them.

Camp de la Vida is one of the only camps of its kind in the United States. Cranford says the camp is "90 percent fun and 10 percent therapy." The program offers horseback riding, archery, canoeing, swimming, hiking, arts and crafts, special theme nights—such as "Dress Up your Counselor Night," "Pizza Night" and more.

The week costs $250 for each child, but Camp Fire offers scholarships and uses a sliding scale based on what each parent or guardian can afford. Cook Children's Hospital in Fort Worth will pay the fee for a child if their brother or sister dies in that hospital. "We fundraise all year long," says Cranford. "No one is ever turned away due to a lack of money."

Emotional, but Healing Time
Sheri Willis, a family therapist at Cook Children's, has served as one of the five paid therapists at Camp de la Vida for the past nine years. "Our first goal is to provide these children with a place to have fun and be a kid," she says. "But they do have an hour and a half of group therapy each day, in which we allow the children an opportunity to tell their stories and listen to others. Group can be a very emotional, but healing, time."

Willis says, "The magic of the camp is that everyone there knows what it feels like to have someone in his or her life die. For a child, that is powerful. They can talk, be angry or sad, or cry, and no one will make fun of them."

Cranford says that the children come to camp with "lots of baggage," but counselors try to help kids through the grieving process at their own pace. "We have had school counselors tell kids that it has been a year since their parent died and they should be over it," Cranford says. "Parents are dealing with their own grief, and having to sometimes be a single parent to their kids. The kids don't want to be a burden, so they don't talk about what they're going through."

During Cranford's second year, he met a young child who was having a particularly difficult time with the death of his father. "He really warmed up to me," Cranford says, "and the last day he was fighting with the other guys to be near me."

After the closing ceremony, Cranford saw the child's mother standing to the side and crying. When he asked her if she was okay, she explained that her son had not let anyone touch him or get close to him since his father had died.

"When she saw him pushing other boys out of the way to stand next to me and have my arm around him, she knew he was going to be okay," Cranford says.

Treasure out of Loss
Many of the staff members return year after year. Last summer, the camp had four staff members celebrating 10 years at Camp de la Vida.

The volunteers say the week is physically and emotionally exhausting, but extremely rewarding. Children, too, return for two or three years. "We rarely bring someone back after that," says Cranford. "Our therapists interview families, counselors and other parties each year to determine need. And if we think the grief aspect of camp is not necessary any longer, we offer one of the regular camp weeks at El Tesoro as an option for the child."

Cranford's goal for Camp de la Vida is simple. "It's important that the campers are kids first and grievers second," he says. "Most of their days are spent horseback riding, fishing, swimming or just playing."

And each year, the week of camp closes with a moving ceremony: staffers plant a tree in memory of the loved ones who died, and each child puts a painted rock under the tree to honor their deceased friend or family member.

"Camp de la Vida helped me in so many ways," says Monica Careel. "I'm so glad there's a place like that."

"Camp is the best thing I do all year," Willis says. "I get to see the best times and the worst times that these children go through."

Cranford offers this advice to others wishing to start their own grief camp for kids: "Form a very strong base of volunteers. The strength of our camp is the rich base of dedicated volunteers who give their support all year long. I would love to say it is my incredible leadership that makes this camp what it is, but truthfully my job is making our staff feel valued and loved—they do all the rest."

Resources:

• Find more grief camps [1] across the country.
• Connect for Kids offers resources on children's mental health [2]for grieving kids.
• Visit the Connect for Kids' More Help with the Healing [3].

Talk Back

If you've got comments or questions about this story, we'd like to hear them. Send your response to Susan Phillips [4].

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Dena Dyer is a freelance writer living in Texas.