A Brother’s Motivation
by Paul Billingsley

In June of 2002 my 23-year-old brother, Andrew, graduated from Morehouse College.

We flew down to Atlanta, GA, to see him walk across the stage, which really impacted me. It was a big deal; I was proud of my brother, but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel a little awkward. I mean, there I was: as a 19-year-old I supported my brother’s graduation, but I wasn’t in school and didn’t think I ever would be again. But after seeing my brother graduate, things changed.
I thought to myself, “Why not? Why shouldn’t I at least give it a try? Could it be that bad?” I spent more than five years of my life on probation, so why couldn’t I spend four years of my life at college?

College: Better than the Alternatives
Not to mention that school, especially college, is a whole lot more fun than a violation of probation. I remember the first time I violated probation… I wouldn’t stop smoking trees and Judge Friedman gave me 30 days.

I remember how long each of those 30 days took. They seemed to last forever. Years later I remember going to Walden House—a residential treatment program—as a part of my probation. That year or two was probably the slowest I ever experienced in my life, but I did it and stayed sane, unlike a lot of others! So, while sitting in my brother’s graduation, I made a decision: four years isn’t that long and I’ll take a shot at it. So I got to it.

Before my mother and I left Atlanta, we went to go see my brother’s freshman dean and I told him I wanted to apply to Morehouse as soon as I got back to California.

When I got back home I didn’t feel different. I kind of thought I would. I thought I just felt like furthering my education because I was at my brother’s graduation and I wouldn’t trip when I got back. But that wasn’t the case! I still wanted to go.

I might have said I’d go to a different college than my brother’s… but I only applied to Morehouse! I only wanted to go to Morehouse. Both of my brothers graduated from there! What would I look like going somewhere else?

Back to High School
I did it all like I was still in high school. I had to take the SATs, so I took a class with folks in high school. In a way, that was my first taste of school. It wasn’t as nerve wracking to me as it was to the younger people in my class, and I did feel like I was in high school again, but it was cool. I filled out my application for admission and sent it off. I didn’t even lie on my application about being arrested before. I told the truth about everything… even my cases. I was supposed to hear whether I got in or not at the end of March. I thought I didn’t get in when an acceptance letter wasn’t at my house by April 1st.

On April 21st I got a letter. I’m not going to make it seem like it was dramatic thing when I opened the letter, ‘cause I didn’t open it. Moms did! I don’t live with her anymore so she always opens my mail! But when she called me and told me I was accepted—on academic probation—I was surprised. They actually let me in! I really didn’t expect it at all. Moms told me not to worry, but she’s supposed to say that—she’s Moms! I thought I would get a rejection letter. I’m glad I got in. I’m going to go to summer school first. I figure I need a little warm-up before my freshman year starts.

I’m looking forward to going to Morehouse. I wouldn’t have gone anywhere else. That might have something to do with the fact that it’s the only school I applied to, but I don’t want to go anywhere but Morehouse! And if I wasn’t going there I wouldn’t be going at all.

Paul Billingsley, 21, is now a former staff writer for YO!

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This is the second of four youth media websites featured on Connect for Kids in August, 2003.