For most children, parents and teachers are their primary educators. Teachers concentrate on children's learning from year-to-year, and parents serve more as their longitudinal educators. Although teachers and parents may be the most important sources of children's learning, they must appreciate other learning sources such as: the broader community, the school, peers, the media, and more recently, the Internet. Each Fall and Spring parents and teachers have a golden opportunity to optimize children's learning prospects when they get together for parent-teacher conferences at school.

Unfortunately, this opportunity is often squandered because the focus is unclear, teachers are the only ones expected to report, and the meeting is rife with apprehensions. As a teacher and principal, as well as a parent, I noted that parents referred to this biannual conference as "the teacher conference." Conversely, teachers referred to it as "the parent conference." By thinking of it as "the student conference," and adjusting our mindsets accordingly, we could take a giant step toward improving learning possibilities for children. Here are some approaches and areas to consider when parents and teachers get together for "student conferences":

• A pre-conference discussion between the student and parents (and sometimes between the student and the teacher) can defuse some of the anxiety felt by the student, especially if the traditional discomfort of these meetings is frankly acknowledged. By talking with the child about issues likely to be discussed at the scheduled student conference, the conference is more likely to be viewed as an objective report describing the student's learning experiences at school and at home, rather than a fictitious report dreamed-up by adults. A pre-conference discussion with the student, also can provide an opportunity to look beyond the strictly academic purposes of schooling and consider some of the social and interpersonal issues that influence learning. During this discussion it might also be useful to talk about what areas the child would most like to improve and how parents and the teacher might help.
• Parents and teachers should come to the student conference prepared to discuss their goals for the student. Although not typically explored in such a discussion, it might be valuable to address the following areas, skills, and habits that influence school success and enhance lifelong learning: work habits, creativity, inquisitiveness, perseverance, resourcefulness, problem-solving, flexibility, analytical reasoning, abstract thinking, willingness to make mistakes, application of concepts, ability to perceive relationships and interrelationships, and the student's contributions as a member of a learning community.
• Arrive at some specific and accomplishable goals. If these goals seem far from reality, acknowledge the gap, and discuss how to narrow it.
• Create a plan and strategy to review these goals with the student in order to assure that the student sees home and school working together and presenting a united front. This might be accomplished best by planning a follow-up meeting that includes the student.
• Establish a process for ongoing home/school communication to evaluate progress toward the goals (respecting the real time pressures on both parents and teachers).
• If there are serious concerns or problems, explore what additional resources, services, and strategies might be needed and how they might be arranged.
• Discuss the student's learning styles as well as interests, affinities, and particular areas that need improvement.
• Discuss the various sources for student learning outside of school as they pertain to what is being studied at school. These other learning sources include family, the broad community, media, the Internet, and friends.
• Allow time to explore prior school experiences and note areas of progress as well as how this year's school experiences may differ from previous ones.
• If the teacher and the parents seem to be describing a very "different child," neither adult should assume that the other adult does not really know the student. Rather, the adults should consider how very different home and school can be in terms of tone, pace, and expectations.

By being "family sensible" in our home/school communications, we can create new habits and genuine partnerships on behalf of children. In so doing, we can minimize possibilities for students to play the teacher and parents against each other, minimize the angst and worry that usually accompany report cards, and enhance trust between home and school. Most important, by thinking of the biannual school meetings between teachers and parents as student conferences, we can keep the focus exactly where it belongs - on the student.

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Allan Shedlin, Jr. is an expert on elementary education and parenting, who served as an Executive Director of the National Elementary School Center and Principal of the Ethical Culture School (NYC). His writing has also appeared in the New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, and The Washington Post, as well as in Education Week.

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